she looked like the before picture.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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