Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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