He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize