Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
