Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
