It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
