Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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