Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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