I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
