i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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