to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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