Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
