we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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