i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize