mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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