I just made out with a guy for $7.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
