I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
