Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now