I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Enjoy the penises