How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .