I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
COCAINE IS GR8