I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
