Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Who died my cat blue again?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
