is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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