Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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