i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that's an acceptable place to lick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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