we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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