i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
