wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Someone came in the potted fern
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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