let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
