he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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