none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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