Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you inspire me to be a worse person
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
