Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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