I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
