the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
