So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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