do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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