and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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