She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You are the jesus of drinking
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
