Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
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