Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
