38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
