I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
