Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
