I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
