Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
