First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i need some magic done to my vagina
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
