I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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