just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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