Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
