Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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