before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
