Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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