Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
