i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
