got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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