woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
