They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
