I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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