So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
