we have pet lesbian snakes
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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